A Unique Encounter: The Spider Saga

Introduction: An Unexpected Visitor

Originally published on May 9, 2015, and updated on August 17, 2020, this article reflects on a peculiar incident that has now become a five-year-long tale of survival against an eight-legged intruder.

Gaming and Parenting: A Balancing Act

One evening while immersed in a game on Steam—specifically the new cyberpunk title Dex—I found myself multitasking as I kept an eye on my children in another room. As I leaned back to relax, my gaze was drawn upward to an enormous spider perched ominously above me. Its size was reminiscent of a compact car.

The Fear Factor: Size Matters

You might assume that at 6’6″,I’d be unfazed by such a small creature. However, my towering stature does little to quell the vivid creativity that accompanies it.In my mind’s eye,the smaller the creature appears,the more of them could possibly invade my personal space. While an average-sized person might only host hundreds of spiders comfortably, I could easily accommodate thousands—a concept I’ve dubbed “Spider Hosting Capacity” (S.H.C.).

The Battle Begins: A Desperate Defense

Frozen in place by fear with one hand gripping the armrest tightly while the other instinctively searched for something to fend off this potential arachnid army from afar (preferably from New Jersey), I quickly assessed various options around me. An empty energy drink can? Too lightweight and ineffective for spider combat. Lemon Pledge? That would only lead to disastrous consequences if it landed in my mouth—a citrus-flavored spider is not something anyone wants.

hope arrived in the form of spray adhesive.

The Showdown: Victory or Deception?

As I cautiously pushed away from my desk and shook the can vigorously before aiming it at my foe overhead, within moments that large black spider transformed into what resembled a frosted black figure—like something out of one’s worst nightmares involving breakfast cereals. it took several hesitant steps before freezing entirely.

But was it truly incapacitated? What if this clever arachnid was merely biding its time until I resumed gaming? Was having an adhesive-coated spider hanging above me any better than its unencumbered counterpart? Persistent to finish what I’d started, I reached for anything solid nearby and squished with resolve.

Unintended Consequences: A Game Case Stuck Forever

And thus began my unexpected relationship with Plants Vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare, which now resides firmly affixed to my office ceiling since yesterday’s encounter—and shows no signs of coming down anytime soon! Perhaps I’ll embrace this quirky addition; after all, each completed game could earn its place up there as part shrine and part warning against future invasions by spiders! But then again—the more games up there means more hiding spots for those pesky creatures… maybe just sticking with one is wiser.

Update – April 16th, 2016

Nearly a year has passed as Plants Vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare became both protector and decoration atop my headspace; it remains steadfastly glued there still! If you ever find yourself needing to secure something like a game case overhead—Elmer’s craft Bond is your best bet!

Update – August 17th ,2020

Fast forward five years later; Plants Vs. Zombies continues its silent watch over me amidst important changes both personally and globally—the world outside has shifted dramatically while life under this ceiling remains unchanged.

As last updating this post much has transpired—I am now wheelchair-bound due to paralysis affecting mobility below chest level making further additions unlikely anytime soon! Additionally our nation welcomed new leadership amid ongoing struggles related specifically COVID-19 pandemic—not directly connected but certainly impactful nonetheless!

Despite these shifts though—the game case persists undeterred! Recently during some cleaning help from family members they spotted what appeared like tiny beetles scuttling between casing & ceiling indicating perhaps slight movement over time—but thankfully our original eight-legged friend remains trapped securely where it belongs fulfilling its purpose without fail!

Should freedom ever come knocking upon said arachnid’s door—I willingly submit myself unto whatever fate awaits—it’s been half-a-decade after all—it deserves retribution should desire arise!